DOCUMENTING FOR OUR FAMILY, FRIENDS AND OTHER INNOCENT BYSTANDERS,THE SIGHTS, SOUNDS AND TASTES OF OUR VARIOUS ADVENTURES.

HI THERE AND WELCOME!!!
You were probably directed here by
some mis-guided soul who thought
that you could use a chuckle or two.
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Saturday

Prologue


And so it begins again, Dear Hearts and innocent bystanders
Chucky and the Ever-Patient and still Most Lovely Illy are about to embark on another adventure... but wait... here's part of the actual test email that was sent to alert the poor unsuspecting masses, about what you are about to read, with comments to follow.

By now all previous NOWAT recipients and a few new Innocent bystanders have been warned [er.. uh... advised] that the Wacky American Tourists [The Ever-Lovely Illy And her erstwhile chauffeur Chucky] invade Spain November 1, 2002.
As promised, for those who requested more advance information, the following is the planned” itinerary [before Girare U’s {Italian for U-Turns} and impromptu side trips] that can be used to track the Feisty Cuban Lady as she treks through Spain in search of:
Her Ancestors,
A Little ancient History,
some Great Photo Ops
and a Bottle Of Fine Spanish Brandy.

Itinerary for the Wacky American Tourists in Spain Nov 1-15, 2002
11/1, Friday : En route Depart Miami 7:05PM Via American Airlines Flt 68 on overnight flight to Madrid.
11/ 2, Saturday: Madrid.
Arrival at Madrid Barajas airport @ 9:40AM -

Overnight Madrid @ Hotel Regente
http://www.hotelregente.com/
11/3, Sunday: Madrid
Visit Madrid

Overnight Madrid @ Hotel Regente
11/4, Monday: Madrid –Toledo
2pm Departure for local guided walking tour of ancient Toledo

Overnight Toledo @ Parador Toledo -
http://www.parador.es/ingles/index.htm
11/5, Tuesday: Toledo to Cordoba
Depart Cordoba and a guided tour of the Great Mosque.

Overnight @ Parador inCarmona. - http://www.parador.es/ingles/85clicks/carm/carmparing.htm
11/6, Wednesday: Sevilla
11AM guided tour of Seville, Tapas and Flamenco show in the evening.

Overnight @ Parador inCarmona. -
11/7, Thursday: Sevilla to Jerez – Arcos Dela Frontera – Granada
Depart for Jerez for Tour of Gonzalez Byass Winery

Continue through central Andalusia; Continue to Granada for Dinner.Overnight Granada @ Hotel AnaCapri
http://www.hotelanacapri.com/
11/8, Friday -Granada
3pm guided tour to include the fabulous Alhambra,

Overnight Granada @ Hotel AnaCapri
11/9, Saturday Granada -Valencia
Depart for Valencia – with a stop for LUNCH in Murcia -
Overnight @ Parador El Saler -

http://www.parador.es/ingles/85clicks/elsa/elsapaning.htm
11/10, Sunday: Valencia- Barcelona
Departure Taragona for lunch then along the Mediterranean coast to Barcelona. Dinner along Las Ramblas
Overnight Barcelona @ Hotel Mertopol

http://www.hesperia-metropol.com/
11/11 Monday: Barcelona
Morning tour of including the gothic quarter with its great cathedral, Montjuich and the Pueblo Español

Overnight Barcelona @ Hotel Mertopol
11/12 Tuesday: Barcelona
More Barcelona tours @ leisure including Picasso and Miro Museums.

Overnight Barcelona @ Hotel Mertopol
11/13 Wednesday: Barcelona - Madrid
Departure for lunch in Zaragoza then Continue to Madrid

Overnight Madrid @ Hotel Regente -
http://www.hotelregente.com/
11/14 Thursday: Madrid
Tours & Visits, Lunch. @ Leisure and Farewell Dinner.
11/15 Friday:
9AM Transfer to Airport
Depart Madrid 1125AM to Miami

Arrive in Miami 3:35pm.
Would somebody please remember on Friday 11/15 to call Gregory and remind him to pick us up at the Airport in Miami @ 4:00pm!!!

Now, sit back, pour another glass of wine or your favorite beverage, and enjoy the trip. We promise you it will be ANYTHING but boring.
Ciao 4 Now
Chuck and the very Anxious, pacing the floor, Cuban Lady

FRIDAY 11.01.02 Outward Bound

4:00 PM EST Outward Bound

“Have you got the tickets?”
 “Yes Illy, I have the Tickets!!”
“Did you remember to pack the travel iron/blow dryer?” “Yes Dear It’s in your bag.”
“How about film, I don’t see the film… do we have enough 800?”
“More rolls than we need dear, it’s in the camera case, and Hey… if we run out, I’m sure that they sell Kodak in Spain.”
“How about my passport?”
 “It’s in the travel folder DEAR!”

Now her beeper and cell phone are going off every two minutes. It seems that half of BellSouth, and BAPCO can’t do without her for a minute. [“You Know Who You Are!!!] “Hey… tell them you’re on vacation.” [How long is this gonna go on?] She finally turns off all electronic leashes and we’re back on task with last minute packing changes.

“Oh Honey…I just checked the 10 day weather forecast on Yahoo, it’s warming up, now I think I need to change some of the clothes we packed.”
 “#$*#$*#$&” [I’m gonna kill her]
“What was that?”
“Nothing Dear… and what exactly did you want to change?”

[And just why did I do all that packing last night? Should have known that she was gonna do this.] Oh, and now she decides to adddress shoes… and more blouses and…and…..
“I’M OUTTA ROOOOMMMM….Will you finish with the add-ons already?… And, turn off the damn computer so we can finish here!!!”

“Does Greg have our itinerary in case he needs to reach us?”
“Yes dear, he and half the free world have the itinerary, and maps and phone #s and more contact #s…. and… and…
Just get in the damn car so we can make the plane on time! Sheeesssh, if this is anything like Italy, I can just hear the Ooofffing…Eeekkkking…and Yoweeees now!”

And so it begins dear family, friends, associates and innocent bystanders, the Wacky American Tourist and the indispensable [by BAPCO standards] Cuban Lady are about to invade Spain, and it will probably never be the same again… At least not if the lovely Illy and her erstwhile chauffeur have anything to do with it!!!

Before we start, I must add a brief note to all of you who risked being ostracized for eternity by polite society and who, against all sane advice, attended what had to be “The” Surprise Party of the Century on Saturday the 19th of October. The Dragon Lady, with the aid of some very special folks really pulled it off. Thanks to all who attended, it was "The Best Party I Never Threw!!!" And to all who missed it, regardless of some of the shabbiest excuses I have EVER heard, “Ya Really Missed a Fabulous Night” not to mention a chance to ROAST yours truly, which was done a bit too well, I might add!!! A big tip of the old pro’s hat to Donna who had the dubious honor of trying to make heads or tails of an incomplete contact list [pirated by the Dragon Lady before I had finished updating it] and calling a lot of very trusting, if not a bit gullible people to wind up creating the Masterpiece of an evening that she and Lenny produced. It truly was One Helluva Night. Thanks also to my dear friend and the only big brother I have ever had, Jim Heiman for loaning us the ultimate party house for the scene of the crime, Scott... you are incredible! [Beth…I will deal you later, you sneak, you!!!] It was a night I will remember... at least up until those last few Dewar’s on the rocks… and cherish forever. Thanks to you all!!!

By now most of you have received the itinerary, which in itself has been revised more times than Bill Clintons response to the Monica questions. Along with the itinerary was an internet link to a great interactive map of Spain, which, for those who are really into this sort of thing, you can zoom in and out on it and follow the main route of our travels.

Of course, given Illy’s penchant for Girare U’s [that’s Italian for U turn… I haven’t learned the Spanish term for it yet] along with our need to “get lost” a lot to discover the “Real Deal”… some roads we take WILL NOT show up on the map. Just bear with us and we’ll try to keep you, if not ourselves, on track.

As mentioned in the previous note to several of you… after a brief 2 days in Madrid, we will be renting a car and driving over 2400 Kilometers in 9 days, ending back in Madrid for a quick round up and Adios España.

We have taken Illy’s laptop along to try and make the NOWAT a bit easier to compose than waiting till we can find an internet kiosk in each stop and then trying to recap 2 or more days at a time in one brief sitting. Since we will be on the road a lot, perhaps this will keep her busy and not Ooooofffing and Eeeeeking too much as I try to drive and dictate. This could prove verrryy interesting. Then again… perhaps we should just let me have at this when we stop each night. Only time will tell.


5:00 PM EST  - M. I. A.

[or “E’cue me señior… is this Miami or have we already landed in Spain”]

It’s a good thing I practically grew up at Miami International Airport; it can be confusing at times. [My parents were the official ‘Pick up the Out-of-towners cause we live close to the Airport’ detail] But... if they don’t quit changing everything around every time we get a new County commission, I’ll be doing more Girare U’s than we did in Sicily!!!

So here comes Chuckie, bouncing out of the car, popping the bags from the trunk he prances right up to the curbside check in… completely ignoring the sign saying “DOMESTIC FLIGHTS ONLY”, only to be refused by the not so polite fellow there.
The ever observant Illy then points him inside to the “INTERNATIONAL DEPARTURE” Area. Opppppssss… and he was off…

After making at least 2 wrong turns, and losing Illy at the entrance [he does tend to gallop off..] we finally found the American Airline International departure counter and of course… a line. [How did I know that was gonna happen?] Chuckie figured that because we had electronic tickets we would just Breeze right thorough the check in process like the Italian escapade last year….
WRONNGGGG.
Mercifully the line was not too long, only two snake-backs but it provided some great people watching time. Truly UNBELIEVABLE what some people try to carry on a plane.

We had a nice chat with some cute British youngsters on their way home and then our number was called.

Check in was uneventful and wonder of wonders… something about our passports got us past the new electronic sniffer and x-ray process.

Ok… now to find a book store… [Yes Rene, I’m out to find “Flight of the Buffalo”] There was a cheap copy on “Ebay [$.75 AND signed by the author!] but they couldn’t get it to me in time for the flight. After a trek to the bookstore on concourse F and no luck, I decided that instead of improving my understanding of buffaloes in flight, I would improve my humor quotient via Carl Hiaasen’s new book “Sick Puppy. Heard it got good reviews so we’ll see. [Of course here I am typing this on the plane instead of reading….ooohhh welllll.]

A quick stop at the money changer for some Euro’s. [would you believe not one bank in Hollywood had them] and since it is a Bank holiday weekend in Spain, I had to get ripped off with the exchange rate here.

Now with 2 hours till the plane leaves, we stop at Casa Bacardi for some great Coconut Wings and a Mojito or two. After a couple of Smirnoff ‘n’ Tonics, the Cuban Lady was finally unwinding from a really frazzled week at BAPCO.
Did I tell you… in the last 6 months, I have moved her office 5 times?!?!?! Don’t get me started there!!!!

So now with a little “trip smoother” in her, we head off to find the plane, but first…..

“SECURITY”

Have you been through MIA International Security lately??? Talk about a cattle call…. First we get separated by some well meaning but slightly rude folks. While I’m taking out the laptop for inspection, she gets hustled off to the dreaded metal detector gate and…
“Put that case on the conveyor belt and step over here lady.”
“But it’s only my camera case. Here look…”
“Put it on the conveyor built PLEASE!”
”But … I got a lot of film in it and you guys ruined half a dozen rolls last year!!”
“OK what kinda film, Lemme See?” She opens the case, “Look… See 800ASA?”
“Put it on the Conveyor belt, anything under 1000 ASA is safe.” [Yeah….Right…]
“If it’s ruined I’m comin’ back here…”
“Put it on the belt and Step through the Gate… MAAAM!!!”

Of course…now with all her bangles and stuff the Cuban lady sets off more alarms than a clumsy safe cracker, so right off the bat they have her singled out for closer scrutiny.
“Please take off the fanny pack and put it on the Belt Maaam.”

By now she is so frazzled, she just wants to get through this all, so everything goes on the belt, she gets the once over with the magic wand and she is now waiting and fuming as I finally breeze through with the computer and loads of other electronic stuff.

“Ok Illy, what was that all about?” I ask.
“Don’t ask,” she snaps, “those rude @#$%&!#$… lets just get going.”

So now we’re hustling done the concourse to Gate E-10 [yeah…the last one, as usual] and we are almost there when she makes the unsettling observation,

“OK… this ain’t so bad…but gee… it seems like something is missing?”
We begin to look each other over and simultaneously screech: “THE CAMERA CASE!!!!”

I throw the computer at her, “Hold this…” do a quick about face and off I go.

Hey now… Remember those old O.J. Simpson, Hertz commercials where he’s running through the airport, hurdling suitcases, benches and small children? Well hold that thought…

Now picture a slightly overweight Chuckie… Hauling Ass… full tilt back to the Security Checkpoint dodging courtesy carts, coffee vendors, tour groups and… small children.

People are scattering left and right at the sight of this gray bearded madman barreling along at full gallop.

Now I get back to the security checkpoint and of course it is locked from the other side…. Arriving passengers [the direction from which I am running] are routed around security to the right. Now what to do???. But… just as someone exits I duck in, much to the consternation of the guard there…
“Left my Camera behind” I shout as I run past.

Now I’m searching franticly… Hey, I spent a lot on that Damn camera last Christmas, not to mention the 15 rolls of Film and the Extra ZOOM lens, and…. [Ok ..Ok.]
Now I can’t see it… panic REALLY sets in…Then I spot it!!!
“Oh there it is, I mumble to the now growing number of guards…Thank God!”
[Oh she is Sooooo dead!]

I stop to check the film and contents for every thing and as I start out the door past the not too happy door guard…. Here comes the Dragon Lady…. full tilt with a look of SHEER PANIC on her face…

“Don’t’ worry, I got it,” I claim, proudly waving the camera case.
“NOOOOOO” She cries out, “MY FANNY PACK…. MY PASSPORT… MY ID!!!!

“Ohhhh Shiiiitttt”… I wheel about and head back in with the not too happy guard hot on my tail, but I spot the fanny pack on the last search table, snatch it up… and now I have 3 very suspicious guards around me. Here’s this strange little man with a black leather hat, dodging in and out in a rush, grabbing stuff left and right….
But I wave the fanny Pack… point at the visibly distraught Illy, grin and say….
”She’s trying to leave without her passport…HA HA.HA!!!”
[Oh she is Sooooo Verrrrryyy Dead!]

They buy it [Ms “Sour Puss” door guard still ain’t so sure about this]… and we’re off again with a parting frown from Ms ‘Really pissed’ Door Guard.

Good thing I’ve been going to the gym…or maybe it was just raw adrenaline but I wasn’t even out of breath.

So now, with the apologetic Cuban Lady in tow, we head back to the other end of concourse E to plop down and wait for boarding to begin.

Boarding goes smoothly, at least she wasn’t randomly profiled for another semi-strip search at the gate. You won’t believe some of the folks they pulled out of line!
A little old lady [had to have been 75 if she was a year] … A guy so overweight that he couldn’t get out of his own way let alone be any threat… accept maybe to the poor soul who has to sit next to him for 8 hours.

We settled into our seats and after an uneventful take off, some most assuredly needed adult beverages [Not complimentary even… Really should have flown Alitalia again] and after an “OK” In-Flight meal, I whip out the laptop and compose this first installment of NOWAT – ESPAÑA.

We will have to wait till we find an Internet connection in Madrid to upload this, but the convenience of the laptop makes it easier to jot it all down while still fresh in mind. [I’m still getting used to the small keyboard layout… and the guy in front of me bounces around a lot …

But Hey… We’re ON OUR WAY!!!!

Ciao 4 Now
Chuck and the completely zonked, out but very content with herself, Cuban Lady..

SATURDAY 11.02.02 - DAY 1

DAY 1 - MADRID
8:35AM 

“Attention ladies and gentlemen, this is the First Officer speaking. It has gotten a little busy around Barajas airport and we have been asked to hold here awhile.”

Hold here?!? Where’s “Here?” All I see is cloud tops. Oh well… I’m sure he knows the way to Madrid, [I hope!]

After promising us at takeoff that we would be arriving 1 hour early, we now found out that the big tail wind wasn’t so big and we might just get there on time. That’s if we aren’t “Holding Here” too long… wherever “Here” was.

After dropping out of the clouds, literally, our driver made a perfect landing [we all applauded] and then we taxied for at least another 20+ minutes. We finally got off the flying cigar tube without incident, and began the long trek to find our luggage and line up to process customs. No less than12 lines at the passport control, [ours moves kinda fast] Stamp…stamp, “Bienvenidos a Espana, Senior” and we breezed through passport control.

“Oh look honey, you can buy a phone card at this little booth.” She says.
“Don’t need a card now”. Mumbles Chuckie in a hurry to find our transportation
“I think you ought to get one now.” She insisted.
“Later, I just want to find Fernando and get going.”
“I really think you should get one now, we’re surely gonna need it later, remember Italy?”
“Illy, lets go!”

We round the corner towards the Salida [exit] and start looking for the promised sign “Chuck Mercurio” to be held by our new friend in Madrid, Fernando Gibaja, Food & Beverage Director of the 5 Star Westin Palace Hotel.

No sign, no Fernando, no Worries… we’re a bit early. He had the itinerary [the whole Bloody Free World had the itinerary!!] and he must have figured how much time it takes to get outta customs etc., and is running on time according to his calculations… [purely speculation on Chuckie’s part].
“Why don’t you call?” smirks the smug Dragon Lady.
“Don’t have any change yet, and I don’t have a Phone card” [Uh - Oh…. Here it comes…]
“Du-uhhh,” she grins.

Score one for the Dragon Lady. So I proceed to look for another Phone card counter… Ooopppss… the only one is on the way from the plane to the baggage claim.

The nice lady at the “Información de Turística” desk suggests the yellow phone card vending machine on the wall by the pay phones. Great! … Uh- Oh… OUT OF ORDER.

“Stay here with the bags”, and I hustle off to the next set of phone banks… and Tabac stands… and the bank window and…. ok…. no phone cards and the bank line is too long to get coins for the phone and…..

Thank Gawd…. There’s the sign “Chuck Mercurio!!!!” Fernando and his lovely wife Elena have just arrived to save the chagrined Chuckie from any more snide remarks from the ever lovely but enjoying the sarcasm Dragon Lady.
I gather up the bags along with the still smug Illy [“Told you to buy the damn card….but noooooo… the stubborn little Italian man doesn’t listen….yada yada yada…”] and hurry to greet Fernando and Elena, ignoring the Dragon Lady’s harping.

Besito’s [kisses] all around, “Welcome to Spain!” they declare and we are off to retrieve the car for the ride to the hotel.

Along the way, we get mini-sightseeing tour and make the acquaintance of two of the warmest folks we have met since the delightful strangers we met in the Mountains of Italy who took us in for lunch [even if we weren’t their long lost American cousins].

Elena’s eyes flashed with the passion of a native Madrileño as she pointed out the various national monuments we passed along the way, while Fernando offered commentary about the route we were taking and directions on how to get out of the city to Toledo on Monday.

They dropped us at the Hotel Regente, located on a verrrryy narrow street, just steps from Gran Via, right in the heart of all the action, with instruction to be ready at 1pm. They were taking us out for a quick tour of some special places and then lunch at the Palace. What a pleasant surprise! They really are very nice.

Check in was easy. We retrieved the travel packet left by Ole Spain/Fiesta Tours [here after referred to as OLE] with all our hotel and tour vouchers and some nifty maps of the cities we are about to visit. We were escorted to a cozy room with a balcony overlooking Gran Via and all the hustle bustle action, and proceeded to settle in, grab a quick shower and change.

In the process… Chuckie discovers that the trusty voltage converter from Italy was not working correctly and set out to find a replacement at the Cortes Ingles [one of the biggest department stores in Spain… they even do tour and travel arraignments] which just happens to be right out the hotels back door.

Nice try… you wont believe what he had to go through. First, they don’t have ANYTHING like what he wants… a universal travel converter. They do have one that screws to the wall and takes all types of plug adapters to work…nope, not an option.

I then tell the clerk that I really need it for my laptop’s power adapter. He says, “ no problem. All those adapters will take either 120V or 240V input, all you need is a wall plug adapter.”
The skeptical Chuckie ain’t so sure and goes to get the adapter to see if this is true.

Back to the hotel… wait on the slow elevator #1 [#2 is broken]… run to the room… grab the adapter and dash back down the stairs… [They are now working on #2 elevator].

Across the courtyard to Cortes Ingles, up three floors to the nice guy with the plug adapters and Voila’ he’s right… the computer adapter will take 240V, so all we need is a plug adapter…. Uh-oh… it’s a 3 prong plug [dumb little Italian man did not check this before leaving Hollywood, or he could have taken a 3 prong adapter… he only has a DOZEN in the garage!] so now what… It’s time for the famous Jury Rigging routine. Fortunately, the clerk is another McGyver type like Chuckie and together they “RIG” a combination of plug adapters to get the job done.

Now its back to the hotel only to find… the travel iron/blow dryer has the new US wide prong plug with a ground fault package and of course…IT DOESN’T FIT THE NEWLY RIGGED ADAPTER THINGY!!!

So…. now Chuckie has to rig the old power adapter as a thru plug [the iron has it’s own built in converter] and gingerly hang it out of the new combo plug contraption from the wall so the Cuban Lady can press some creased slacks and dry her hair…not of course, at the same time.

1PM –Madrid… And more…


The Gibaja’s arrive promptly and we are off to tour the Palacio Real, the Cathedral of Nuestra Signora de la Almudena [patron Saint of Madrid], and stroll past tons of little bodegas, restaurants and tapas cafes into the famous Plaza Mayor. After pictures all around it was time for lunch.

Now ya gotta understand, Fernando had just arrived at the Palace Hotel 2 months ago but he is a like a proud and anxious father [which he actually will be soon, he and Elena are expecting their first child in the spring]. He is very anxious to show off the Palace, a 5 Star hotel regarded as one of the truly elegant hotels in Spain.

On top of that, today is the first day of his new restaurant promotion series and Buffet… and of course the first menu is: Italian! He can’t wait to see how well it is going.

It is going so Fabulously… we can’t get a table! Not to worry, as with all new bosses… the staff will do anything to please and since seating is in a rotunda arrangement under an extraordinary stained glass cupola, a table magically appears and is set while the ladies freshen up and Fernando gives me a mini-tour of the adjacent meeting space.

Lunch was extraordinary although Fernando noted a few items on the beautifully presented buffet that would do better if done “ala minute”… but hey…it’s only the first day. I was truly impressed with his style and class as well as his exceptional knowledge of the industry. His Ritz Carlton background showed as he described his plans for the Palace.

After another brief tour of some of the most elegant Public Space and meeting rooms [Rene, ya gotta see this bar…pictures to follow] we were ready to head back to the hotel… [Chuckie was fading fast as he got no sleep on the plane, while the ever easy to nod off Illy slept all the way]. Fernando surprised us with the gift of a gorgeous hard bound book on the Palace Hotel with a great color photo spread on the history of the hotel including all the royalty and celebrities it has entertained since its opening in the late 1800’s

We retrieved the car [the underground parking is not to be believed…Verrrryy tight quarters, and they drive a little crazy in Madrid but not even half as NUTZ as the Italians] and they dropped us back at our hotel with instructions that when we returned on Wednesday the 13th to be prepared for a night on the town Madrileño style. [We can’t wait, I hear the folks in Madrid, really know how to P A R T Y].

Besito’s all around and we headed to the room for a little nap before a planed romp in local Gran Via night life.

Chuckie was so wiped out that the 1-hour nap turned into 5 and at midnight we decided to see if there was an internet kiosk open to send the first NOWAT.
After a short walk, we found the Telefónicas internet place Fernando recommended with ADSL internet connections closed…[Du-uhhh Chuckie… it IS Midnight!]
The Dragon lady smugly pointed out that the nice little café ZAHARA on the corner from the hotel had a very large internet chat room upstairs and it was there that we uploaded NOWAT ESPANA – M.I.A.

Now that was an exercise in itself. First, they would not let us hook up the laptop to their connection. So Chuckie, who had loaded it on a floppy in the event this happens reaches into his pocket only to find…. he left it in the room… he had the laptop, but no disk. Sooooo, back up to the room… [#2 elevator is fixed now] the desk clerks are getting used to his frequent in and out… he grabs the disk and back to the ZAHARA he ran, only to find out that he only has 15 minutes before they close….

No problem, just pop the disk in….upload it to Yahoo… address it, do a quick edit and bingo… Wrooonnngggg!!!

Some how, Yahoo has fragged the NOWAT address list, or at least that is what it appears like… Chuckie is in a panic…he is copying and pasting…. and losing the file…and now the time on the connection runs out and loses the uploaded NOWAT…. more Euros into the slot and start over again…

Finally after some real “RIGGING” [we know how that goes, don’t we Rene'] we get yahoo to accept an address list copied from the disk as a back up and get the first NOWAT off just as time runs out again.

We decided to grab a quick bite there before they close, and then take a quick stroll around the area to see what kind of trouble we could get into.

Of course now it’s 2AM and it starts to drizzle… so it’s back up to the room for the umbrellas Chuckie so wisely packed… [Hey…. remember…The Rain- In Spain - falls Mainly… ok… ok… you get it]… the desk clerks are beginning to get a kick out of this Wacky American Turista with his dashing in and out… and we are off to see what’s “Goin’ On” around Gran Via after dark”.

A short walk… Chuckie’s leg has developed a small pain, and we discover that there truly is Night Life in Madrid. You can’t turn a corner without finding a disco here… a disco there… hot spots and more discos…. and… the ever present Velvet Rope brigade with macho doorman types waving in the Beautiful People and ignoring fat old Italian Wacky American Turista’s [not really, we didn’t try to get in…too much cigarette smoke for Illy’s liking, these Spaniards smoke like chimneys].

Back to the Hotel, [“Buenas Noches”, Señior giggling desk clerks] and up to a toasty room to write NOWAT ESPANA – DAY 1- MADRID.

Tomorrow it’s more walks around the area, a bus tour in the afternoon and loads of other fun stuff.

Hope y’all are enjoying our trip so far… drop us a note to let us know that you got these first 2 installments.

Ciao 4 NowChuck and the smiling, but snoring contentedly, Illy

SUNDAY 11.03.02 DAY 2

DAY 2 - MADRID –

11AM

“Illy… wake up… do you know what time it is”
“Yeah…the Wrong time to be waking me if you know what’s good for you!”
“Seriously, it’s 11AM and we have too much to do to sleep it away. Besides, the tour bus gets here at 2PM.”
“Tell ‘em to pick me up tomorrow…maybe the day after.”
“OK lady, here comes the water…”
“You will die slowly and painfully if you bring that glass over here… I’M UP ALREADY!”

And… So started our second day in Madrid. Jet lag had set in, and late night NOWAT writing didn’t help our sleep habits too much either. Should have never stayed so late at lunch with Fernando, but lunches here are late, 1-3 PM and we really tried to cram too much into the first day. We were a little more frugal in Italy and napped before we went out to get lost. But… we did not want to insult Fernando by not going with them right off. Oh well….it WAS a Great Lunch.

Soooooo… after a rushed shower and agenda check, we headed out to find Avis to confirm our arrangements and insure the car we wanted. All was in order, a Volvo 60D diesel will await us Monday for the beginning or our 2400 kilometer trek.

After picking up another battery for the camera [Chuckie left it “ON” in the bag; of course being 2 years old and getting constant use may have something to do with its burnout, but try telling that to the Dragon Lady] we discover that we are near Plaza España with the great statue of Don Quixote and Sancho Panza. Her mom LOVED Don Quixote and of course Illy had to jump up on the statue for a photo op. This had the local’s giggling. A few more pics and it was time to fuel the engines before the “Motor Coach” tour.

On the way back down Gran Via toward the hotel, we encountered VIPS, a modern upscale café with great desserts. Coincidentally, Chuckie has a meeting with the Director of Research and Development for the parent group, “Grupo Siglia” which also has several very upscale restaurants throughout Spain. [Time to get a little recruiting in if they can hook up]

On the way back to catch the tour bus, the ever Chotchkie searching Illy has to stop at every junk store window to look for stuff to bring back, and of course when she realizes that it is 2PM and the bus is due at 2:20 it now becomes a race to make it back to the hotel in time. Of course Chuckie’s leg is still acting up so the RUN back is not easy.

Back at the hotel by 2:10 [no bus yet] allows a rush upstairs to get the tour voucher and camera case, Illy spots the bus from our balcony and we run downstairs to meet the guide… who is not there. Of course, Illy forgot her sunglasses, so Chuckie runs [well… limps] back up to get them and comes back to find… no tour guide. Now the day desk crew is starting to giggle at this Wacko…Up the stairs…Down the stairs.

We decide to walk to the bus and see if it is the right one and run into the tour lady coming into the hotel. Soooo… we trot off to the bus to wait for everyone else. With an empty bus, we begin to hotel hop to either pick up other tourists or solicit new riders and wind up at the parking garage for the Palacio Real where we consolidate 3-4 other busses and begin the panoramic tour of Madrid.

A word to future travelers to Spain, get a good map or a personal guide but don’t waste your time on Pulman Tours Panoramic tour. It was a very mediocre bus tour. All the passengers spoke English but they insisted in doing a dual spiel in both Spanish and English which caused us to sometimes be well past the particular monument by the time she got to the English version. Tried to get some Photos from the bus including the Plaza Del Torros but not happy at all.

Since, at the end of the tour there was nothing more to see except the route back to the terminal, we had them drop us at the Museo Del Prado for a stroll through some outstanding art including, Goya, El Greco, Velasquez and many others. Some good Photos will be forthcoming. It is amazing the reoccurring theme with many of the artists; The Holy Trinity, the Crucifixion, the Nativity and various religious standards, over and over again. I was going to do a photo study of all the variations on the crucifixion but thought of it too late and didn’t want to waste film.

The growing pain in Chuckie’s foot and growing hunger pangs in the Cuban Lady had us heading towards Plaza Mayor in search of some great Tapas and wine. Masochist that he is, Chuckie refused taking a cab, [“Gotta get the real feel of Madrid”] and after a dangerous mid traffic photo of the Fountain dedicated to Neptune [this better come out, it will be a fantastic night lit shot] we hobbled down San Jeronimo to the area around Plaza Mayor.

Of course along the way, Chuckie has to take pictures of every cute Saloon, bodega, beer bar and Tapas café that strikes his fancy. We must admit, some were very intriguing but we were headed to find some recommended places.

As usual, it was a hit and miss trip, with map in hand we still managed to get just a little lost. [Hey…Illy swears we planned it that way… remember Florence? Getting lost is half the fun!] After a short stop for beer at an Irish Pub in the middle of Madrid, [seems that the Spaniards have a love affair with the Anglo pub traditions] and to rest the leg, it was off to find Cava Alta, Cava Baja and the Plaza de la Cruz, home area of some of the best reported Tapas in town.

While wandering down one narrow calle, we actually stumbled upon “Meson del Champiñon” which had been recommended to us by one of the American Airlines flight crew on the flight over. Having asked several Madrileños yesterday about its location and not getting any favorable response, we had given up on finding it but…. Voila!! There we were. The place’s primary fare is sautéed jumbo mushrooms in an incredible garlic butter, served with home made bread on the side and glass of fine Rioja Vino Tinto. Talk about your genuine money maker Rene’. The cost had to be next to nothing, but with a little side of Jamon Serrano [dry cured ham sliced right off the bone] and a couple glasses of wine it rang up to €25 Euros. Well worth it though, the flavors were to die for.

And… of course… the never shy Chuckie had half the place posing for pictures and of course everyone was getting into his wacky enthusiasm [well…what did you expect… couple of beers… couple glasses of wine… some Tapas and more wine…and “You Know Who” has everyone posing.] Of course by now he has the staff eating out of his palm and the free wine started to flow. But…. we were on a mission… the plan was not to eat at one place rather, Tapas our way through the neighborhood, which we headed out to do. Besitos around with the gang at Meson del Champiñon and we were off for more photo ops and Tapas.

The next stop was a place recommended by our tour agent OLE, “Casa Antonio”, however it was proving very elusive… well come on…. a little beer… a little wine… and the map reading skills were fading fast. So we reach Plaza de la Cruz, down the street from “Meson de Mushroom” and we still don’t see Casa Antonio.

"Bingo!” cries Illy.
“You found it?” I ask.
“No…Bingo”, she says pointing to a sign over a Bingo Parlor.
“Not funny, your wine is showing.”

And all of a sudden we turn the corner and what is right in front of us…
Aww come on…. Guess… Yup… Casa Antonio.
“Bingo we both shout.”
She swears she spotted it first…. but who cares. We bounce into the cute little place, find the last table open, [the line is starting to form behind us] and settle in for some great Croquettas, an outstanding Assorted cheese board with Quince jelly to smooth out the cheese, and some more great Rioja Vino Tinto, The Cuban Lady was in Heaven.

By now we were starting to fade again, and we had to get the increasingly lame Chuckie back to the hotel, so we headed down some more narrow calles, past some great little bars to the hotel.

On the way, Chuckie ducks into this neat Taverna for a look and runs into a cute couple who he questions about the International Jazz Festival that takes place all over Spain in October and November. After finding that he had passed one of the best venues, Cafe Central earlier in the day during the deficient bus tour, he begins to whimper loudly but his leg aches too much to back track half way across town to groove on what is considered some of the best Spanish Jazz in the last 20 years.

Back at Hotel Regente, we grab the disk with last nights NOWAT and head to the Cafe ZAHARA’s Internet room. Of course nothing is a simple as it should be. The Computer we used the last time was not available and the one we did get didn’t have MSWord installed which was needed to open the transfer disk. We had to roust the attendant from his nap only to find that we had to change machines and still labored to get the journal off properly. [Boy do we miss the Internet Kiosks of Italy] perhaps it will be easier down in the South.

Illy was fading fast so we quickly checked email, sent a few quick replies and headed back to crash. She did, but I just had to jot these few notes before doing the same.

Tomorrow we grab the car and head for Toledo, the ancient capital of Spain and a stay at our first of three Paradores. In case I didn’t mention before, Paradores are State owned hotels that are actually set in old convents, monasteries, fortresses, and other historical locations. We were first turned on to them by non-other than Fernando Gibaja of the Palace hotel. We’re excited about the opportunity to visit history up close and personal.

Before we sign off from Madrid, a few words on the Hotel Regente and what appears to be a Spanish idiosyncrasy. When you book a double room, do not expect to cuddle too much with your mate, unless you enjoy doing it in a standard single bed. “What?” you ask… a double with a single bed? Well actually two single beds shoved together set on double headboard. And of course if you really want to cuddle you must unmake the Military style bed [that you could bounce a silver dollar off of] tucked in all the way around on each single. However, they were quite comfortable and the rooms were exceptionally clean. Overall we highly recommend the Hotel Regente with its friendly and helpful staff, and great location just steps from Gran Via.
For future travelers to Madrid, a word about the flavor of this very cosmopolitan city. It is referred to by many as a Mini New York because of its hustle and bustle, traffic gridlock, street vendors and fantastic shopping along Gran via which mimics Broadway. The modern Northern section of Madrid is considered by many locals as the Mini Manhattan due to its many new and modern high rises. It is a very clean city, with everything getting washed down from streets, sidewalks and quite often, citizens who can’t dodge the sidewalk patrol after a late night of clubbing in Madrid’s many discos and clubs. Many Madrid clubs and discos are open till 6AM. [Madrileños party late, rise late but still manage make it to work by 9AM, the official start of the Spanish day.] With Siesta still being observed liberally from 2-4, they return to work till 7 or 8PM and then head to their favorite Tapas cafe to socialize before heading home or to the clubs again. If you love the night life… ya can’t get bored in Madrid! Unfortunately, this is WAY past the Cuban Lady’s bedtime so Chuckie has to settle for doing the latest NOWAT instead.

…Now where was that Jazz café????

More from the fabled plains of La Mancha tomorrow.

Ciao 4 Now
Chuck, and the ever hungry but WAY TOO CUTE with mucho Vino Tinto under her belt, Illy

MONDAY 11.04.02 DAY 3

DAY 3 – MADRID to TOLEDO

9AM

“Andiamos sleepy head, we got-a-lot to do. We should have been on the road by now, so get your cute buns in the shower!”

The alarm had rung 30 minutes ago, and Chuckie nearly bounced the travel alarm off the wall [he’s never trusted wake up calls since the defective clerk in Rome].

“These late night NOWATS are really taking it out of me. We should have been up and running to catch the last taste of Madrid.”
But it is all that Chuckie can do to drag his aching butt, leg, foot and everything else [it’s Hell turning 60] into the shower and still roust the groggy Dragon Lady out of bed.

After a quick pack, and a double check of the room, we head down for a typical “Desayuno Euoropeo”. [European style continental breakfast]

Into a crisp Madrid morning we headed for Avis to pick up our car and marvel at the street vendors every where, hustling everything from purses, pictures CD’s, DVD’s and more. We found it interesting that they were nowhere to be found on the weekend. Guess even they are socialized and only work a 5-day week. Chuckie spots the quintessential “shoeshine boy” [and we use the term ‘boy’ loosely as he had to be at least 50] and treated himself to a first class shine. Of course the Dragon Lady could not resist the opportunity to turn the tables on the photo happy Chuckie and snap a shot of him and the ‘shine boy’.

Processing Avis was smooth, they had everything we asked for including a mediocre map of Spain, and we headed for the garage to pick up a 2003 Volvo 60D diesel with only 1800 kilometers on it! This puppy has all the bells and whistles and handles like a dream. Chuckie [Mario Andretti, III] will have fun with this baby on the AUTOVIA…. But first he has to get it out of the garage and back onto the Gran Via with the Dragon Lady Ooooofffing and Eeeeekkking all the way. The streets, ya see, between the garage and Gran Via are just a tad on the narrow side. And... Of course the Madrileños may not drive as Nutz as the Romans, but they can be as impatient and just a bit rude. Ignoring misdirection’s by Apprentice Navigator Illy [the street we were turning into was no wider than a sidewalk] Chuckie still found the Gran Via without incident.

Once back at the hotel with no parking available on the extremely narrow street, Chuckie noses the Volvo into the taxi zone leaving the back end jutting precariously into the street much to Illy’s dismay. Apparently while he was in the hotel, the Dragon Lady was having panic attacks numbers 2 and 3 as she watched trucks maneuver WAY TOO CLOSE to the rear end of the squeaky new Volvo.

Coming out of the hotel Chuckie finds a distraught Illy wagging a finger and saying
“DON’T YOU EVER LEAVE ME SITTING OUT HERE LIKE THIS -AGAIN!!!!!!!”

The directions for getting out of Madrid from the nice lady at Avis were excellent with the exception of the unexpected detour around construction along the way which raised Illy’s anxiety level when she couldn’t see the route number we were supposed to be on. Chuckie, ALWAYS calm in these situations and with an impeccable sense of direction, was able to navigate the twist and turns of the detour to successfully return to route N401, and we were off to Toledo.

And of course… once out of the maddening traffic of Madrid, the “Ever Anxious” Illy released her death grip on the map which now has the impression of the road to Toledo firmly imprinted on the palm of her left hand.

Toledo was a short trip from Madrid with some very lovely countryside along the AUTOVIA, however once again our trusty MAPBLAST directions did not quite mesh with the posted highway signs. The exit we took for Toledo resulted in taking us into the center of ‘Modern Toledo’, on the opposite side of Old Toledo and just a tad away from the Parador which was our destination. A quick stop at a gasolinaria [gas station] and some gracious directions from a gentleman who had a tad too much garlic in his lunch, and we were headed off in the right direction…. At least until we got to “Turn Number 3” of his instructions and then… the fun began!

Since the Paradores are State owned, they have their own directional signs incorporated into the regular highway signs. But at this intersection the boys at the DOT- ESPAÑA were having a bit of fun with everyone. The directional signs to the Parador [that we can see at the crest of the hill from the highway below] were just a bit confusing. One arrow pointed left, and when you glanced across the road, another arrow pointed right. The first time we hit this corner, Chuckie followed the sign to the left. This only managed to take us all the way around the winding road, up a hill, down a hill and well past the Parador, heading back to Madrid. Ascertaining that this indeed was the wrong way, it was time for a Pirula [Madrid dialect for U-turn – or Girare-U for those of you familiar with Illy’s favorite “U-Turn” maneuver] and we were back at “Turn Number 3”.

Now it was time to try and make heads or tails of the conflicting signs. This time, Chuckie went right, and as we passed what appeared to be a road across the street leading to the Parador we realized that the conflicting signs were instructing you to “cross the center line to the left and make an immediate right into a special lane” which paralleled the center line on the wrong side of the road [Say What????] that led to a special turn lane and the entrance to the Parador. [Reeeally tricky, but Hey… it’s owned by the Spanish DOT’s BIG Brother…. Ain’t it Great To Be King!?!].

Since we realized all this after we were well past the tricky little zig-zag to the entrance, it was time for another Pirula. Once we navigated the opposite approach to the special lane, we turned into the driveway of the Parador, and hustled to check in as we are now running late to meet our guide in Old Toledo. We had been instructed to meet our guide in the center of Toledo at… McDonalds – of all places!

The reputation of this Parador not withstanding; the “Breath Taking” view of ancient Toledo from its spacious patio was truly Magnificent! The Parador itself, a converted country house with some obviously modern additions was a true a delight. We were escorted to a magnificent mini-suite overlooking the pool and the western fringes of Ancient Toledo. The room was done in the style of an old country ranch house, and the utter contradiction of an Ultra Modern bathroom was a pleasant surprise. Overall the Parador could easily be rated a 4 Star plus hotel anywhere in the world and rivals AAA 5 diamonds. All this and more at only $80 bucks a night! [To be honest, Chuckie did some shopping to find the program called Dias Dorado or “Golden Days” which allows for a 35% discount if you are 60 and over and of course... we all know who turned 60 the day before leaving for Spain… Now that’s what I call timing!]

Chuckie makes a quick call to our agent at OLE to alert the waiting guide that we were running a bit late due to the multiple Pirulas. We grab a cab into Ancient Toledo since we had been advised that finding adequate parking would be difficult at best. A short cab ride up some narrow winding streets into the old city and our cabby dropped us on the corner near the McDonalds. It was an amazing contradiction to turn the corner amongst these magnificent Medieval buildings, some from as early as the 1st century, to find the ‘Golden Arches’ of Mickey D’s. Of course now, we had NO IDEA who we were meeting or what our guide looked like. We urgently searched the faces in the patio, the upstairs dining room and all around the area. Just as the anxiety level was creeping upward with the thought that we might have been to late, this fashionably dressed young man approaches Illy and asked “Are you here for a tour?” The ever-cautious Illy, being suspicious of all strangers that approach her in public places [due to the warnings of friends to be on the lookout for pickpockets and Gypsies] takes a half step back and asked, “Are you with Ole’?” By now the ever-protective Chuckie comes quickly to her side and takes over the situation [as usual] and confirmed that the nice young man was indeed our guide for the afternoon.

We apologized for being late without getting into one of Chuckie’s lengthy explanations, and Señior Fernando Vazquez began our introduction to this ancient Capitol of Spain. He asked if there was anything in particular we were interested in and we told him we wanted to touch, feel, smell and taste of the full flavor of Toledo. He inquired if we minded walking a lot and we responded we were more than ready to walk however much it took to learn as much as we could in the allotted time about this magnificent rock of history. Speaking of Rocks… Toledo is one square kilometer situated on a craggy rock surrounded on 3 sides by the Rio Tajo, which allowed it to be very defensible from aggressors. Our tour began as we climbed past what was originally the Royal Palace of several Spanish Kings, which more recently served as the Royal Infantry Academy. The Academy has since been relocated across the river in a new “Modern” building and the Palace is now being converted to the Spanish Army Museum.

Our tour took us through all the significant sections of the Ancient town, from the Catholic section through the Muslim section to the Judaria. Walking the streets that date back to the 190 B.C. was awesome. Being able to take pictures of all this unbelievable history, was overwhelming. [Ok… maybe 14 rolls of Kodak weren’t enough – we may have to stock up later.] Hearing the passion in Fernando’s rhetoric produced shivers not caused by the fabulous weather that we were enjoying. We visited the Synagogue of Santa Maria la Blanca with its multiple religious influences since, during its storied history, it was a Synagogue, Muslim Mosque and a Catholic Chapel. We then visited “The Cathedral” of Toledo, which was started in 1226 and not finished until the end of the 15th century. It is the Cathedral Primate of Spain and considered one of the most extraordinary monuments in Spain and the world. It even houses several significant works of Goya, Raphael, Rubens, Titian, Velazquez, and one of the Greatest Works of El Greco “The Disrobing of Christ” which hangs in the Sacristy of the Cathedral. [El Greco lived here for over 35 years and produced the majority of his most renowned works while in Toledo.]

This walking tour, with a personal guide, was everything and more than we ever expected and more than offset the shabby motor coach tour of Madrid. We were so taken by this young mans passion, and fire, that we just had to invite him for dinner and drinks as night began to fall and it was obvious that we got more of a tour than he normally gives. After a little coaxing, we even got him to suggest his favorite place for Tapas or dinner.

Fernando had already planned on taking us back to the Parador for some final insights as we overlooked the illuminated city. But, after a stop at a quaint converted ranch house for cocktails overlooking the city, and upon our invitation, he took us to instead to the Posada de la Cal in the town of Orgaz [which coincidentally is the legendary home of the subject of one of El Greco’s most famous paintings “ The Burial of Señior Orgaz”] for one of the most incredible meals we have had in ages. [Yes Rene’ we tried to steal the chef… unfortunately he was the owner with no intention of leaving for the USA] But we really did try. Besides, it was old school farm cuisine, not the Nuevo Style. Not wishing to make anyone drool, [like hell!!!] I must recall the extraordinary brick oven roasted Leg of Lamb, the juices of which were eagerly sopped up with the outstanding home baked bread, preceded by some of the finest fresh cured Jamon Serrano, Tortilla con Baclao, Tostidos de la Casa [I have no idea what they were but…Yumm Yumm] and some fine aged Manchego cheese, all washed down with an unbelievable Asturian Vino Tinto and followed by a selection of the simplest yet most scrumptious deserts we’ve had the opportunity to savor. [Fernando had the Catch of the day and no wine… he had partied a bit too much with colleagues the night before]. Are you ready for this… all this, dinner for 3, wine coffee and dessert…€95 including tax & Tip! They even opened a closed dining room for us after a call from the road by Fernando so we wouldn’t have to sit with the rowdy locales watching the local soccer match. I would feel guilty except; there were soon 3-4 more parties in the room in short time. [They really do eat late]

One of the funniest moments of the trip [so far] came as Fernando, with a very straight face turned to Chuckie, [who was really trying his best to conduct himself in Spanish whenever he could] and said,
“You know, I am quite impressed, you have no accent when you speak Spanish, it really is quite good.” [But wait… this is too Good…]
He then turns to the beaming Cuban Lady [who is so proud of her Little Italian Man] and says with equal sincerity,
“But you DO have an accent… a South American accent to your Spanish.”
Swear to Heaven… you could have picked Illy up off the floor with a sponge… she just melted. I would have really felt bad for her if I wasn’t laughing so hard at the look on her face. She finally recovered [I think] after a little more wine and with Fernando, realizing his Faux Pas, apologizing for the rest of the evening. Of course, Chuckie now takes great pains in reminding her that HE has no accent, whereas she, the resident Latina has been judged by a native Asturian as speaking accented Spanish.
[The significance of this being that the Asturians were the only Spaniards never conquered by the Moors, or Romans and consider themselves the only Pure Spaniards.] She has assured me that “Pay Backs are a Bitch” but I have the first call on that trump card, after the Surprise party she pulled mid October.

After dropping us back at the Parador and Besito’s around, Fernando promised to keep in touch and we promised to recommend him to all our friends and colleagues who plan a trip to Spain.
[Attention Christina: … he’s really cute… a perfect gentleman, And... Single!]

After a night cap of Fine Cardinal Mendoza Brandy in the cozy lounge at the Parador, and a brief stroll along the great terrace for last minute photos of the Grandly illuminated Toledo, we retired to get some rest for the drive to Cordoba and the city tour the next day, but not before we edited the final NOWAT from Madrid.

I am editing this NOWAT about Toledo, from the Lounge of the UNBELIEVABLE Parador of Carmona where we are staying Tuesday and Wednesday night. I dictated most of it to Illy as we drove from Toledo to Cordoba. It was supposed to be a 4 hour drive but Mario Andretti III found that on Spanish highways if you don’t maintain at least 160-180 kph you almost get run over by a Mercedes or another Volvo, so the trip only took 3 hours.

I will relate the excellent city tour of Cordoba, the former Arabic Capital of Spain tomorrow since we have an early tour of Seville scheduled and need to rest. But, not before another of, what will probably be many comments on the Paradores. My only regret is forgetting to take pics of the Parador Toledo itself and not just its view. We did take pics here in Carmona upon first entering the incredible room and look forward to the Parador @ El Saler near Valencia. Without a doubt, several Grand Lux operators not only in the USA but Europe as well, can take lessons from these guys. Every thing so far [I pray not to jinx it here] has been outstanding. More later… I gotta crash.

Ciao 4 Now
Chuck, and the exhausted [but slightly South American accented] Illy.

TUESDAY 11.5.02 DAY 4

DAY 4 –TOLEDO->CóRDOBA ->CARMONA

“OK… Now What???”
“How should I know, I didn’t stick the bloody thing in there!?!? What possessed you to stick it in there in the first place?”
“ Don’t ask… it was stupid I know!” But look, it says …. Well you can see the picture.”
“Hey… don’t look at me… I’m just a stranger here too!”
“Well we need to do Something, I’m not leaving HERE, with IT in THERE… here hold all the stuff, while I go find….”

Oooopppsss…There I go again… getting just a little bit ahead of the story. Lets start this off correctly.

9:30AM – Toledo


The day started when I bolted from bed whining about turning off the alarm too soon, and forcing the very bed cozy Dragon Lady [with the South American Accent] to roll out of her warm snuggly bed into the crisp Toledo air. As I ducked into the shower, Illy took a last vista shot with a rainbow in the background. It may not come out too good as it took too long for her to find and set up the camera.

We did the usual quick pack so we could hustle off to a very lavish buffet breakfast before striking a trail for Córdoba and a scheduled Half Day escorted city walk.

We were sure that we had good instructions on how to find route CM400 from Toledo to National Highway E05 leading to Córdoba … but somehow Navigator Illy got us on N400 to Ocaña which did get us to E05 eventually, but added 30 kilometers to the trip.

Now Córdoba [with the accent on the COR and NOT the doba as the natives are quick to correct] is supposed to be a 4 hour drive according to Mapblast, and other sources. Of course with Chuckie’s increasing comfort level with the well marked and usually well maintained Spanish Highways, coupled with the fact that one must do less at least 160-180 kph in the 120kph zone, or risk getting run over by a Mercedes, we made it in under 3+ hours. Hell, even the Ford Focus’, which must have missed the last recall, try to haul ass with the big dogs. And… heaven forbid you don’t watch the big semi’s on the many twists and turns and you may have a big tanker in your front seat. [They seem to have programmed all the twists and turns into the routes to keep most timid drivers honest as there seem to be no other reason.] The Spaniards also make great use of the [Redonda] traffic circle to control the speed on the rural highways without using semaphoro’s, [traffic lights] especially on Illy’s N400, so any attempt to make up lost time was foiled by a redonda every 2 kilometers for the total 39 kilometers from Toledo to Ocaña.

We took advantage of the long ride, with some really great vistas at certain points along the way, to dictate the previous NOWAT about Toledo. Illy is convinced that we did not put enough info regarding the splendor and flavors of that marvelous influence in time. She hastens to add that you must plan more than a half day’s tour, and take the time to have a glass of wine, shop a little in the ancient shops and get more of an “up close an personal” feel of the city.

We still recommend the afternoon tour if you go anywhere near high season, or before November. The tour buses from Madrid overwhelm the city in the mornings and you could spend a lot time waiting to get into the monuments or get stuck behind some overweight tour groups in the very narrow streets.

One of the narrowest streets, Calle Jon del Torro, narrows down to just 27 inches across. There is a legend that goes:
Once, a young man was coming down the cross street with his arms loaded with fragile goods when he encountered a mad Bull that had broken out of its pen. He could not drop his cargo, he could not go back because the bull would follow, so he turned into the narrow street that gradually drops 2 street levels from top to bottom and narrows from 6 feet across to less that 30 inches at its narrowest point. The bull followed and got his horns stuck between the narrow walls. The neighbors were able to kill the bull and feed the neighborhood for a month. As with all Legends… it is obviously suspect but is always good for a chuckle as you pass through the area. Now… this isn’t the narrowest street. The narrowest measures just 23 inches across.
[Look out Overweight tourists!!!]

2:45PM - Córdoba.

As we approached Córdoba, we did not stop the dictation on Toledo in time to hit the exit that
our Mapblast directions indicated and unfortunately when we got on the right track, there were more unplanned detours in our way. By now we were running up on the time to meet our Guide at the Hotel Maimonides [named after a most influential Physician to the Arab rulers] across from the Cathedral and Mosque. So the ever-observant Illy spots a street name that she thinks is the right direction and screams at the last minute…

“Turn right here!”
Uh-oh…. This don’t look so good!.!.!

The next 15 minutes were filled with more Ooffff’s, Eeeek’s…Yeeeegad’s…and Owieeee’s!!!, then ever before as we careened down streets almost as narrow as Toledo, and one was just wide enough as to allow 6 inches on either side of the tires and just barely enough room in one spot for the side mirrors to pass on either side. Twice we met cars or motor scooters coming the other way where we had to hold tight to a turn until they passed or back up slightly to allow them to turn into the smallest garage openings I have ever seen. After getting directions from a polite young man that the Illy startled half to death by rolling down the window and grabbing his coat… [He was really that close] and begging for directions out of this labyrinth. We were able to find a road wide enough to pass two cars together, but not very far apart, and onto a broad boulevard divided by a large park that would take us to our rendezvous… except…
We were headed in the wrong direction!

Soooooo… we found a place to reverse direction and head towards our destination when, the now panicking [demoted again to "Apprentice" Navigator] Illy decides we must take a left before a critical traffic circle, and not around it…. Putting us back on the route in the Wrong Direction again!!! By now Chuckie has lost it. He hits the brakes, grabs the very limited map… points out the correct route and landmarks and proceeds to make the same pirula, for the 2nd time. Once headed in the right direction after making the proper turn AFTER all important traffic circle, we begin to follow the signs to the Hotel Maimonides, where there may… or may not be available parking.

After passing several parking lots along the way with “COMPLETO” [LOT FULL] signs, Chuckie spots an open spot on the curb around the corner from the Hotel and pulls into it. Now we are 30 minutes late for this tour… [What happened to the 1 hour we made up on the highway????]

Ok… so we get out the travel voucher for the tour, load up the camera and mark extra film, stow the laptop and everything else in the trunk, make one last check before locking the car and head off to the meeting, only to discover that we must buy a parking permit from a master parking meter down the street. No problem… we have these back home and it should be no sweat… accept… the instructions are in a combination of Local dialect and pictures and here’s where the real fun began!!!

Chuckie looks at the picture indicating that one should insert your Tarjeta [card] in the slot indicated. OK… we’ve done that before at the Hollywood Circle.
Soooooo Chuckie whips out his Visa card, slides it halfway into the slot and of course it is gobbled up by the machine.

Now while he tries to figure out exactly which button to push… the machine is making grinding noises as it attempts to read the magnetic strip on his card. He turns to Illy and asks…

“OK… Now What??? What does this say to do here? I just stuck my Visa card in the slot and it doesn’t seem to work AND… it doesn’t want to give the card back!!!”

“How should I know, I didn’t stick the bloody thing in there!?!? What possessed you to stick IT in THERE in the first place?”

“Don’t ask… it was stupid I know, especially before I had you translate the instructions. But look… it says … Well, you can see the picture that indicates: “Put the card here” and I thought it worked just like the ones back home on Young Circle, in Hollywood. Hell… they even look the same except for a different language.”
“Hey… don’t look at me… I’m just a stranger here too!”
“Well we need to do Something, I’m not leaving HERE with IT in THERE… here hold all the stuff, while I go find our guide and let him know we are here and perhaps he can help or may know who we should call or what we should do.”

Off I head to the Hotel Maimonides, and after 2 stops to insure I was headed in the right direction, I find Angel, our guide waiting outside the hotel. He spots me hustling up in a panic and introduces himself. I apologize for our tardiness and explain the current crisis. He hurries to the parking meter with me and ascertains that the slot was indeed for a card, but for a smooth side local residential prepaid parking card the locals buy for frequent use in the area. Apparently the raised letters on my Visa card are probably keeping it stuck in the machine. In the meantime as we are trying to retrieve the card with a variety of implements, Illy spots a Uniformed sanitation worker and drags him down to look at the two of us fiddling with the meter. The handsome fellow is alas a Deaf /Mute but manages to communicate that there is a fellow down the street, around the corner, that might have a key to the machine.

Angel and I are already on the way to find this fellow with the magical key. We find him in a parking lot behind the mosque [where Chuckie should have parked had it been empty… it sure would have avoided this current catastrophe!!!] and after explaining the problem; he dispatches another fellow to help open the machine. Of course the young fellow following us obviously was paid "by the hour", not "by the piece" as Chuckie and Angel were already back at the meter while the young man was just rounding the corner, 300 meters down the street. [Ok… Chuckie and Angel both tend to walk a tad fast!]

Señior “Magic Key” finally arrives, opens the machine, scratches his head, Looks at us and says “Yo no Se”… [Local lingo for “Beats ME” and then gets on his radio to the other guy down the hill, with the Cordoban version of, “Houston… We Got Una Problema”.

OK…so by now, while Señior “Magic Key’s” back is turned, Chuckie has the guilty part of the machine half out when Señior Magic Key spots this, panics and begs Chuckie not to cause him to lose his job if the thing should break… Reluctantly, Chuckie relents and waits for BIG Señior “Magic Key” to arrive, who upon arrival does exactly what Chuckie was about to do...reach in and pull the offending part out, flip it over and push the card out the back... and Halleluja!!!! Or Praise Allah… or some other appropriate exclamation comes from Angel and Señior Junior “Magic Key’s” lips [we will not repeat Chuckie’s or the Cuban Lady’s comments.]

After effusive and hearty “Muchisimas Gracias” around, including special thanks to the handsome Sanitation Worker, Angel slipped the right prepaid resident parking card into the “offensive” little slot, selected the maximum parking tariff, placed the prized little ticket on our dash and we were off to the Mosque of the Ancient Rulers of Spain.
$@#$#%^% Machine.!.!.! could be heard from no one in particular as we headed off on the tour.

Angel was another of those locals, who studied for several years and passed the appropriate exams just to squire around Wacky American [or other English and French speaking] tourists through the magnificent splendor that was once the Arabic Capital of Spain. His knowledge and enthusiastic rhetoric were filled with tidbits of legend and fact that helped to make the stone and marble dating back to 757 AD come to life.
We learned that the Mosque and eventually the Cathedral was built, remodeled, rebuilt and expanded 4 times from 757 AD through the 15th and 16th centuries and finally completed in the beginning of the 17th century. Most of the materials used in each phase were recycled from various areas of the civilized world including pillars from Greece, Italy, Arabia, and other demolished or conquered worlds. It is considered more than a historical and archeological monument, it is unique embodiment of over eight centuries of architectural and artistic change, and contains elements representing the peak of Hispanic-Moslem style alongside Hispano-Flemish vaults and arches, Renaissance Cupola, early baroque elements and other treasures from the predominant Christian Styles of the Sixteenth and Seventeenth century. It’s shear enormity is mind boggling and to put it in perspective, we are told that one could put 4 football stadiums within the walls without affecting the adjacent Orange tree patio which is equal to ½ the interior space.

Angel then lead us from the “Mesquita/Cathedral” to the Alcazar, former palace of the Caliphs of Arabic Spain and eventually the Palace of Ferdinand & Isabella, the "Catholic Monarchs" from where they organized the recapture of Granada from the Moors and expulsion of the Arabs and Jews from Spain. It is also where they dispatched and subsequently received and entertained often, one Cristobal Colon, [aka Chrisopher Colombus] discoverer of the New World. The gardens of the Alcazar are Extraordinary, with gravity fed fountains and pools, sculptures galore and a splendor that must be seen to be appreciated. However Chuckie did his best to capture as much on film as possible. He is well through over half of the 14 rolls of film he brought and will have to reload in Seville.

The interior of the Alcazar was as ornate as many as we’ve seen. We were able to photograph the excavation of ancient ruins in one of the courtyards that went down two levels below the current street level. These ruins are believed to date back to Roman occupation of Córdoba. So many layers of each successive conqueror and civilization are built on top of each other in this area that it is impossible to buy property and develop the land without uncovering more archeological mysteries. If you should happen to uncover something, you are required to notify the authorities. Should you do this, the development may be held up for a very long time. In the meantime, while the archeologists are reviewing the findings, you are still required to pay the builder and maintain the property properly. As a result most developers of older property, should they encounter suspicious findings, throw dirt on it and pretend it never happened.

Angel then took us through some of the ancient barrios of Old Córdoba were we were able to get a feel for the architecture and variety of influences through the ages. Passing through an artisan’s courtyard, Illy scored her much sought after "Jaron". [A large ceramic vase] for which a prized spot in her new wall unit had been reserved. The elaborately decorated ceramic piece was hand fabricated by the old woman who sold it to us. Of course now we had to lug the bloody thing along the rest of the tour!

Prior to the Spanish Inquisition and their subsequent expulsion in the late 1400’s by Ferdinand and Isabella and the Dreaded Spanish Inquisition, the Jewish population lived in harmony with the Arabic conquerors [whom they helped to invade Spain]. The Jewish community numbered close to 100,000, however the current Jewish population of Córdoba is no more than 60-75. Since the Jewish Temples were mostly destroyed or turned into Cathedrals by the Catholic monarchs, the current population now worships in a room 12-foot by 12-foot. It still has the separate balcony for women and children, but we were told that no more than 30 people worship here now.
Quite a contrast to the great Mosque; Remember… 4 football stadiums plus in size that serviced many different religions throughout time.

Our enthusiastic guide then took us to “Los Baños de Caliphs” – or the Baths of Arabic Caliphs. As we approached the entrance we realized that the excavations were found well below street level. Many areas were still intact, having been buried for over 5 centuries. In fact, more excavation might have been done and they expect much more to be discovered, however it would have undermined several modern buildings built over the suspected area. As it was, special supports had to be built under the edge of two buildings to keep them from collapsing in on the baths and excavation. These supports were visible from the baths.

After a walk through the ancient Jewish quarters we concluded the tour and invited Angel to join us in some seriously needed [and quickly consumed] Adult Beverages. We invited him to join us for some Tapas, but he had an English class for guides that he needed to attend.

We bid him farewell, retrieved our car – with no further incidents with the “#!$%@$%” parking machine, Señior “Magic Key” or the handsome sanitation worker.
Finding our way out of Córdoba was imminently easier than the arrival and we sped the 100+ kilometers to the Parador Carmona.

We spotted the Parador from miles away and upon exiting the AUTOIVIA, easily followed the signs up the winding road to the summit. What we were not prepared for was the fact that the Parador was at the summit of Ancient Carmona. We entered the medieval city through giant gates in the still standing wall, and wound our way to the Parador up the same kind of narrow streets that we found in Cordoba. Illy was still Oooofffing and Eeeeeking all the way up, but the way was well marked and we passed through the 2 giant outer gates of the former Alcazar [Fortress] of Carmona to come upon the most Magnificent of the Paradors yet.


7:30PM - Carmona

After check in and dumping the bags in our mini suite where pictures were immediately taken for the archives, we found the view, even at night was outstanding.

We got a recommendation from the excellent staff for a place to eat in town and began the trek down the winding streets to the center of the Ancient town to find the right spot for excellent Tapas, wine and Cheese. It was so much fun, we went around the corner to the second recommended bodega and had a night cap of Tapas, wine, and Cheese. A local Siamese cat and a Mutt, stopped by to see if we were as nice as we looked and found a few scraps that suddenly appeared at “Tree Hugging” Illy’s feet.

After an even longer trek up the hill to the Parador, [our trusty navigator was convinced she knew the way back] we grabbed a Cognac nightcap and headed to our room to complete and edit the NOWATS from Toledo. In between time, we charmed the nice desk clerk into letting us use his Internet connection to upload the Final Madrid NOWAT. They also had an interesting Internet connection for guests that was in a closet next to the front desk and which was in a set-up that resembled a Video arcade game. After 2 reboots and some serious effort [reminds me of the terrible system at the hotel Oxford in Rome] we finally got it to work to check mail and send some other notes, before we headed up to crash.

This NOWAT, started in Carmona, finished on the road to, and finally edited in, Granada will be sent on Friday when we can get to the Telefonicas office around the corner from the Hotel ANACAPRI either before the tour of the Alhambra or shortly there after. By then we hope to have finished a brief note regarding the Trip to Jerez de la Frontera and the Gonzalez Byass Sherry Bodega tour.

Gotta crash…. These late night exercises are really taking their toll but we hope y’all are enjoying our ramblings and the trip as much as we are.

Ciao 4 Now
Chuck, and the aching [but still slightly South American accented] Illy.